Top 5 Things That Would Shock You If You Woke Up From A Year Long Coma

1. Michael Jackson’s brothers and sisters aren’t dead
2. Your wife likes to lay around the house in a giant fleece blanket with arms
3. That website you signed up to, posted “why would I use this thing” and then immediately stopped using is the biggest thing on the internet
4. Video quality on YouTube is still on par with the lunar landing footage
5. Madison is still, against all odds, looking so so good.